I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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