i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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