I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wish my penis had a tongue
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
