so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
