I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
