so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
