The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
