I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
