Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
