she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize