Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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