would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
