he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
