btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
