yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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