And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Holy sore nipples Batman
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
