What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
