rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
