Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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