Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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