My brain says no but my pants say off.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
