its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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