...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its liver damage thursday
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
