I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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