Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
