Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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