So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
