I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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