my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
