I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
