Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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