Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
