im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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