he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
