I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
