Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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