It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
