is wine microwaveable?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
