party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
