I love black thongs
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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