So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
