tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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