i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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