Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just high enough for therapy.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
