YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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