At least make sure they are 18
Why
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
