i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
