I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
