Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
