It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
