My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
