Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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