I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
