Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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