So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
