I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
