So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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