please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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