Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
