It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
