why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
