Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
