dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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