I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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