My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
