Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
